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CII.

ON THE WHIGS' TENACITY in OFFICE.

The Whigs resemble nails. How so, my master?
Because, like nails, when beat, they hold the faster.

Anon.

CIII.

ON MODERN STATESMEN.

Midas, they say, possess'd the art, of old,
Of turning whatso'er he touch'd to gold.

This modern statesmen can reverse with ease;
Touch them with gold, they 'll turn to what you please.

Anon.

CIV.

ON HEARING A DEBATE IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS.

To wonder now at Balaam's ass were weak;

Is there a night that asses do not speak?

Anon.

CV.

ON A CERTAIN LORD DELIVERING HIS SPEECHES FROM HIS SEAT IN CONSEQUENCE OF AN ATTACK of Gout.

In asserting that Z. is with villainy rife,

I very much doubt if the Whigs misreport him; Since two members attach'd to his person thro' life Have, on recent occasions, refused to support him.

Anon.

CVI.

ON A CERTAIN LORD'S ARGUMENTS.

Yes, in debate, we must admit,
His argument is quite profound;
His reasoning's deep, for deuce a bit
Can anybody see the ground!

Anon.

CVII.

ON MR. (AFTERWARDS SIR JOHN) LEACH GOING OVER TO

THE TORIES.

The Leach you 've just bought should first have been tried, To examine its nature and powers;

You can hardly expect it will stick to your side,

Having fall'n so lately from ours.

CVIII.

ON A SHALLOW SPEAKER.

Vane's speeches to an hour-glass
Do some resemblance show;
Because the longer time they run

The shallower they grow.

Anon.

Anon.

CIX.

ON A CERTAIN M.P.'s PONDEROUS SPEECHES.

Though Sir Edward has made many speeches of late,
The House would most willingly spare them;
For it finds they possess such remarkable weight,
That it's really a trouble to bear them!

Anon.

CX.

ON A MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT WHO GAINED HIS SEAT

BY LOSING HIS CHARACTER.

His degradation is complete,

His name with loss of honour branding;
When he resolv'd to win his seat

He literally lost his standing.

Anon.

BOOK II.

On Books and Authors.

CXI.

ON HOMER'S BIRTHPLACE.

Seven cities warr'd for Homer, being dead,
Who, living, had no roof to shroud his head.

Thomas Heywood (about 1596-1640).

[From The Hierarchie of the Blessed Angells (1635). See the following.]

CXII.

ON THE SAME.

Seven wealthy towns contend for Homer dead,
Through which the living Homer begg'd his bread.

Thomas Seward (d. 1790).

The

[The number of cities which claimed the honour of being Homer's birthplace was rather seventeen than seven. latest favourite in the race is Smyrna.]

CXIII.

ON PHILEMON HOLLAND'S TRANSLATION OF SUETONIUS.

Philemon with translations so doth fill us,

He will not let Suetonius be Tranquillus.

Anon.

[Philemon Holland (1551-1636) published translations of works by Suetonius, Livy, Pliny, Plutarch, and Zenophon. He also translated Camden's Britannia into English.]

CXIV.

ON PLAYWRIGHT.

Playwright, convict of public wrongs to men,
Takes private beatings, and begins again.
Two kinds of valour he doth show at once:
Active in's brain, and passive in his bones.

Ben Jonson (1574-1637).

[The playwright here referred to is John Marston, author of The Malcontent and other plays. Jonson, says Drummond, "had many quarrels with Marston, beat him, and took his pistol from him."]

CXV.

ON JOHN LILburn.

Is John departed, and is Lilburn gone?
Farewell to both, to Lilburn and to John.
Yet, being dead, take this advice from me,
Let them not both in one grave buried be:
Lay John here, and Lilburn thereabout,
For if they both should meet, they would fall out.

Anon.

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