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131

BOOK V.

On Celebrities, and Others.

CCCVIII.

ON THE OFFERING made by KING JAMES I. At a Grave
COMEDY CALLED 66 THE MARRIAGE OF ARTS."

At Christ Church "Marriage," play'd before the King,
Lest these learn'd mates should want an offering,
The King himself did offer-what, I pray?

He offer'd, twice or thrice, to go away.

Anon.

[From A Collection of Epigrams (1727). This epigram hits off very happily the King's proverbial stinginess.]

CCCIX.

ON LORD BURLINGTON'S HOUSE AT CHISWICK.

Possess'd of one great hall for state,
Without one room to sleep or eat;
How well you build, let flatt'ry tell,
And all mankind how ill you dwell.

John, Lord Hervey (1696-1743).

[From The New Foundling Hospital for Wit (1784). The Lord Burlington referred to is the architect-Richard Doyle, third Earl of Burlington (1695-1753).]

CCCX.

ON THE DUKE OF MARLBOROUGH'S HOUSE AT

WOODSTOCK.

"See, sir, here's the grand approach,

This way is for his Grace's coach:

Here lies the bridge, and here's the clock,

Observe the lion and the cock,

The spacious court, the colonnade,

And mark how wide the hall is made!

The chimneys are so well design'd,

They never smoke in any wind.
The gallery's contrived for walking,
The windows to retire and talk in;
The council chamber for debate,

And all the rest are rooms of state."

66

Thanks, sir," cried I, "'t is very fine,
But where d'ye sleep, or where d' ye
dine?
I find, by all you have been telling,
That 't is a house, but not a dwelling."

Alexander Pope (1688-1744).

[This has been attributed to several authors, including Swift and Byrom. The "house at Woodstock" was Blenheim, built by Vanbrugh.]

CCCXI.

ON A HIGH BRIDGE BUILT OVER A SMALL STREAM AT

BLENHEIM.

The lofty arch his high ambition shows,
The stream an emblem of his bounty flows.

Dr. Abel Evans (about 1699).

[Marlborough was as notoriously mean as he was notoriously ambitious.]

CCCXII.

ON THE QUEEN'S GROTTO AT RICHMOND, ADORNED BY

BUSTS.

Lewis the living genius fed,

And rais'd the scientific head:

Our Queen, more frugal of her meat,
Raises those heads which cannot eat.

Anon.

[From Elegant Extracts (1805). The Queen was Caroline, consort of George II.]

CCCXIII.

ON SIR JOHN VANBRUGH.

Under this stone, reader, survey
Dead Sir John Vanbrugh's house of clay.
Lie heavy on him, earth! for he

Laid many heavy loads on thee.

Dr. Abel Evans (about 1699).

[From Nichols' Select Collection of Poems (1780). "The heaviness of Vanbrugh's style of architecture was the subject of the constant ridicule of Horace Walpole and others." Vanbrugh is now best remembered as a dramatist. The Relapse was produced in 1679, and The Provoked Wife in the same Their author died in 1726. The above epigram (the last couplet of which alone is generally quoted) has its antitype in the following lines from the Greek :-

year.

"Hail, mother Earth! lie light on him

Whose tombstone here we see ;

Æsigenes, his form was slim,

And slight his weight on thee."]

CCCXIV.

ON VOLTAIRE RIDICULING MILTON'S ALLEGORY OF SIN

AND DEATH.

You are so witty, profligate, and thin,

At once we think thee Milton, Death, and Sin.

Edward Young (1684-1765).

[Said to have been made extempore.]

CCCXV.

ON THE FIRST DUKE OF DORSET AND HIS SON.

Folly and sense, in Dorset's race,

Alternately do run;

As Carey one day told his Grace,
Praising his eldest son.

But Carey must allow for once
Exception to the rule,

For Middlesex is but a dunce,
Though Dorset be a fool.

Sir Charles Hanbury Williams (1709–1759).

CCCXVI.

ON DR. THOMAS SHERIDAN.

Beneath this marble stone there lies
Poor Tom, more merry much than wise;
Who only liv'd for two great ends,

To spend his cash and lose his friends :
His darling wife of him bereft,

Is only griev'd-there's nothing left.

Jonathan Swift (1667–1745).

[Dr. Thomas Sheridan was the grandfather of the famous politician and playwright, whose improvidence he rivalled. The above epitaph is taken, not from Swift's Works, in which it is not included, but from Watkins' Memoir of the Public and Private Life of R. B. Sheridan (1817).]

CCCXVII.

ON FOOTE, THE ACTOR AND DRAMATIST.

Foote, from his earthly stage, alas! is hurl'd;
Death took him off, who took off all the world.

Anon.

[Samuel Foote (1722-1777) was famous for his powers of mimicry. His best-known plays are The Lyar (1762), The

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