This week of confinement I paffed in practifing a forbidding frown, a fmile of condefcenfion, a flight falutation, and an abrupt departure; and in four mornings was able to turn upon my heel, with fo much levity and sprightliness, that I made no doubt of difcouraging all publick attempts upon my dignity. I therefore iffued forth in my new coat, with a refolution of dazzling intimacy to a fitter distance; and pleased myself with the timidity and reverence, which I should impress upon all who had hitherto presumed to harass me with their freedoms. But whatever was the cause, I did not find myself received with any new degree of respect; those whom I intended to drive from me, ventured to advance with their ufual phrases of benevolence; and those whofe acquaintance I folicited, grew more fupercilious and reserved. I began foon to repent the expence, by which I had procured no advantage, and to fufpect that a fhining dress, like a weighty weapon, has no force in itself, but owes all its efficacy to him that wears it. Many were the mortifications and calamities which I was condemned to fuffer in my initiation to politeness. I was fo much tortured by the inceffant civilities of my companions, that I never paffed through that region of the city but in a chair with the curtains drawn; and at last left my lodgings, and fixed myself in the verge of the court. Here I endeavoured to be thought a gentleman just returned from his travels, and was pleased to have my landlord believe that I was in fome danger from importunate creditors; but this scheme was quickly defeated by a formal deputation fent to offer me, though I had now retired from bufinefs, the freedom of my company. I was now detected in trade, and therefore refolved to ftay no longer. I hired another apartment, and changed my fervants. Here I lived very happily for three months, and, with fecret fatisfaction, often overheard the family celebrating the greatness and felicity of the efquire; though the conversation feldom ended without fome complaint of my covetoufnefs, or fome remark upon my language, or my gait. I now began to venture into the publick walks, and to know the faces of nobles and beauties; but could not observe, without wonder, as I paffed by them, how frequently they were talking of a taylor. I longed, however, to be admitted to converfation, and was fomewhat weary of walking in crowds without a companion, yet continued to come and go with the reft, till a lady whom I endeavoured to protect in a crowded paffage, as fhe was about to ftep into her chariot, thanked me for my civility, and told me, that, as fhe had often diftinguifhed me for my modest and respectful behaviour, whenever I fet up for myself, I might expect to fee her among my first customers. Here was an end of all my ambulatory projects. I indeed fometimes entered the walks again, but was always blafted by this deftructive lady, whofe mifchievous generofity recommended me to her acquaintance. Being therefore forced to practise my adfcititious character upon another stage, I betook myself to a coffee-house frequented by wits, among whom I learned in a fhort time the cant of criticism, and talked fo loudly and volubly of nature, and manners, and fentiment, and diction, and fimilies, and contrafts, and action, and pronunciation, that I was often defired to lead the hiss and clap, and was feared and and hated by the players and the poets. Many a fentence have I hiffed, which I did not understand, and many a groan have I uttered, when the ladies were weeping in the boxes. At last a malignant author, whofe performance I had profecuted through the nine nights, wrote an epigram upon Tape the critick, which drove me from the pit for ever. My defire to be a fine gentleman ftill continued: I therefore, after a fhort fufpenfe, chofe a new set of friends at the gaming-table, and was for fome time pleafed with the civility and openness with which I found myself treated. I was indeed obliged to play; but being naturally timorous and vigilant, was never furprised into large fums. What might have been the confequence of long familiarity with these plunderers, I had not an opportunity of knowing; for one night the conftables entered and feized us, and I was once more compelled to fink into my former condition, by fending for my old master to atteft my character. When I was deliberating to what new qualifications I fhould aspire, I was fummoned into the country, by an account of my father's death. Here I had hopes of being able to diftinguish myself, and to fupport the honour of my family. I therefore bought guns and horfes, and contrary to the expectation of the tenants, increased the falary of the huntsman. But when I entered the field, it was foon discovered, that I was not deftined to the glories of the chace. I was afraid of thorns in the thicket, and of dirt in the marsh; I fhivered on the brink of a river while the sportsmen croffed it, and trembled at the fight of a five-bar gate. When the VOL. V. Ꮓ sport sport and danger were over, I was still equally difconcerted; for I was effeminate, though not delicate, and could only join a feebly whispering voice in the clamours of their triumph. A fall, by which my ribs were broken, foon recalled me to domestick pleasures, and I exerted all my art to obtain the favour of the neighbouring ladies; but wherever I came, there was always fome unlucky conversation upon ribbands, fillets, pins, or thread, which drove all my stock of compliments out of my memory, and overwhelmed me with fhame and dejection. Thus I paffed the ten first years after the death of my brother, in which I have learned at last to repress that ambition, which I could never gratify; and, instead of wafting more of my life in vain endeavours after accomplishments, which, if not early acquired, no endeavours can obtain, I fhall confine my care to thofe higher excellencies which are in every man's power, and though I cannot enchant affection by elegance and ease, hope to secure esteem by honesty and truth. NUMB. 124. SATURDAY, May 25, 1751. Tacitum fylvas inter reptare falubres, To range in filence through each healthful wood, HOR. ELPHINSTON. THE feafon of the year is now come, in which the theatres are fhut, and the card-tables for. faken; the regions of luxury are for a while unpeopled, and pleasure leads out her votaries to groves and gardens, to still scenes and erratick gratifications. Those who have paffed many months in a continual tumult of diverfion; who have never opened their eyes in the morning, but upon fome new appointment; nor flept at night without a dream of dances, mufick, and good hands, or of foft fighs and humble fupplications; muft now retire to distant provinces, where the firens of flattery are scarcely to be heard, where beauty sparkles without praise or envy, and wit is repeated only by the echo. As I think it one of the most important duties of focial benevolence to give warning of the approach of calamity, when by timely prevention it may be turned afide, or by preparatory measures be more eafily endured, I cannot feel the increafing warmth, or observe the lengthening days, without confider ing the condition of my fair readers, who are now preparing to leave all that has fo long filled up their hours, all from which they have been accustomed to Z 2 hope |