He hears, and as a Still with fimples in it,
Between each drop it gives, stays half a minute,
Loth to inrich me with too quick replies,
By little, and by little, drops his lies.
Mere houshold trash! of birthnights, balls, and fhows, More than ten Hollinfheds, or Halls, or Stows.
When the Queen frown'd, or fmil'd, he knows; and what A fubtle Minister may make of that:
Who fins with whom: who got his Penfion rug,
Or quicken'd a Reversion by a drug:
Whofe place is quarter'd out, three parts in four,
And whether to a Bishop, or a Whore:
Who, having loft his credit, pawn'd his rent,
Is therefore fit to have a Government:
Who, in the fecret, deals in Stocks fecure,
And cheats th' unknowing Widow and the Poor:
And asks what news; I tell him of new playes,
He takes my hand, and as a Still, which stayes
A Sembrief 'twixt each drop, he niggardly,
As loth to enrich me, fo tells many a ly.
More than ten Hollenfheds, or Halls, or Stows,
Of trivial houfhold trah: He knows, he knows
When the Queen frown'd or fmil'd; and he knows what
A fubtle Statesman may gather of that:
He knows who loves whom; and who by poison
Hafts to an officer's reversion;
Who waftes in meat, in clothes, in horfe, he notes;
Who loveth whores
Who makes a Trust of Charity a Job,
And gets an A&t of Parliament to rob :
Why Turnpikes rife, and now no Cit nor Clown
Can gratis fee the country, or the town:
Shortly no lad fhall chuck, or lady vole,
But fome excifing Courtier will have toll.
He tells what Strumpet places fells for life,
What 'Squire his lands, what Citizen his wife:
At last (which proves him wifer ftill than all)
What Lady's face is not a whited wall.
As one of Woodward's patients, fick, and fore,
I puke, I nauseate,—yet he thrufts in more:
Trims Europe's balance, tops the ftatefman's part,
And talks Gazettes and Poftboys o'er by heart.
He knows who hath fold his land, and now doth beg A licence, old iron, boots, fhoes, and egge
fhortly boys shall not play At fpan-counter, or blow-point, but shall pay Toll to fome Courtier; and wiser than all us, He knows what Lady is not painted. Thus He with home meats cloys me. I belch, fpue, fpit, Look pale and fickly, like a Patient, yet
He thrufts on more, and as he had undertook,
To fay Gallo Belgicus without book,
Speaks of all States and deeds that have been fince
The Spaniards came to th' lofs of Amyens.
Like a big wife at fight of loathfome meat
Ready to caft, I yawn, I figh, and fweat.
Then as a licens'd fpy, whom nothing can
Silence or hurt, he libels every Man;
Swears every place entail'd for years to come,
In fure fucceffion to the day of doom:
He names the price for every office paid,
And fays our wars thrive ill, because delay'd;
Nay hints, 'tis by connivance of the Court,
That Spain robs on, and Dunkirk 's still a Port. 165
Not more amazement feiz'd on Circe's guests,
To fee themselves fall headlong into beafts,
Than mine to find a subject stay'd and wife
Already half turn'd traitor by surprise.
Like a big wife, at fight of loathed meat,
Ready to travail: fo I figh, and fweat
To hear this Makaron talk: in vain, for yet,
Either my humour, or his own to fit,
He like a priviledg'd fpie, whom nothing can
Difcredit, libels now 'gainst each great man.
He names the price of every office paid;
He faith our wars thrive ill, becaufe delaid;
That Offices are intail'd, and that there are
Perpetuities of them, lafting as far
As the last day; and that great officers
Do with the Spaniards fhare, and Dunkirkers.
I more amaz'd than Circe's prifoners, when
They felt themfelves turn beafts, felt myfelf then
I felt th' infection flide from him to me;
As in the pox, fome give it to get free;
And quick to fwallow me, methought I faw
One of our Giant Statues ope its jaw.
In that nice Moment, as another Lye
Stood juft a-tilt, the Minifter came by.
To him he flies, and bows, and bows again,
Then, clofe as Umbra, joins the dirty train.
Not Fannius' felf more impudently near,
When half his nofe is in his Prince's ear.
Becoming Traytor, and methought I faw.
One of our Giant Statues, ope its jaw
To fuck me in for hearing him: I found
That as burnt venemous Leachers do
grow found
By giving others their fores, I might grow
Guilty, and he free: Therefore I did fhow-
All figns of loathing; but fince I am in,
I must pay mine, and my forefathers fin
To the last farthing. Therefore to my power
Toughly and ftubbornly I bear; but th' hower
Of mercy was now come: he tries to bring
Me to pay a fine to 'fcape a torturing,
And fays, Sir, can you fpare me? I faid, Willingly;
Nay, Sir, can you fpare me a crown? Thankfully I
Gave it, as ransom; but as fidlers, still,
Though they be paid to be gone, yet needs will
Thrust one more jigg upon you: fo did he
With his long complimental thanks vex me.
I quak'd at heart; and, ftill afraid to fee
All the Court fill'd with ftranger things than he,
Ran out as fast as one that pays his bail,
And dreads more actions, hurries from a jail.
Bear me, fome God! oh quickly bear me hence
To wholesome Solitude, the nurse of Sense;
Where Contemplation prunes her ruffled wings,
And the free foul looks down to pity Kings!
There fober thought purfued th' amusing theme,
Till Fancy colour'd it, and form'd a Dream.
A Vifion hermits can to Hell transport,
And forc'd ev'n me to see the damn'd at Court.
Not Dante, dreaming all th' infernal state,
Beheld fuch fcenes of envy, fin, and hate.
Bafe Fear becomes the guilty, not the free;
Suits Tyrants, Plunderers, but fuits not me:
But he is gone, thanks to his needy want,
And the Prerogative of my Crown; scant
His thanks were ended, when I (which did fee
All the Court fill'd with more strange things than he)
Ran from thence with fuch, or more hafte than one
Who fears more actions, doth haft from prison.
At home in wholefome folitarinefs
My piteous foul began the wretchedness
Of fuitors at court to mourn, and a trance
Like his, who dreamt he faw hell, did advance
Itfelf o'er me; fuch men as he faw there
I faw at court, and worse and more. Low fear
|