That long has flood the Rage of conquering Years
Inviolate, (nor in more ample Chair
Smoaks rofy Juftice, when th' important caufe,
Whether of Hen-rooft, or of mirthful Rape,
In all the Majefty of Paunch he tries)
Studious of Eafe, and provident, I place
My gladfome Limbs; while in repeated Round
Returns replenish'd, the fucceffive Cup,
And the brifk Fire confpires to genial Joy:
While haply, to relieve the ling'ring Hours
In innocent Delight, amufive Putt
On smooth joint-ftool in emblematic Play
The vain viciffitudes of Fortune fhews.
Nor Reckoning, Name tremendous, me difturbs,
Nor, call'd for, chills my Breaft with sudden Fear;
While on the wonted Door, expreffive Mark,
The frequent Penny ftands defcrib'd to View,
In fnowy Characters and graceful Row.
Hail, TICKING! fureft Guardian of Diftrefs!
Beneath thy Shelter, pennylefs I quaff
The chearful Cup, nor hear with hopeless heart
New Oysters cry'd:-Tho' much the Poet's Friend,
Ne'er yet attempted in poetic Strain,
Accept this Tribute of poetic Praise !
Nor Proctor thrice with vocal Heel alarms Our Joys fecure, nor deigns the lowly Roof
Of Pot-house fnug to vifit: wifer he
The splendid Tavern haunts, or Coffee-house
Of JAMES OF JUGGINS, were the grateful Breath
Of loath'd Tobacco ne'er diffus'd its Balm ;
But the lewd Spendthrift, falfly deem'd polite,
While steams around the fragrant Indian Bowl,
Oft damns the vulgar Sons of humbler ALE:
In vain
the Proctor's Voice arrests their Joys; Juft Fate of wanton Pride and loose Excefs!
Nor lefs by Day delightful is thy Draught,
All-pow'rful ALE! whofe forrow-foothing Sweets
Oft I repeat in vacant Afternoon,
When tatter'd Stockings ask my mending Hand
Not unexperienc'd; while the tedious Toil
Slides unregarded. Let the tender Swain
Each Morn regale on nerve-relaxing Tea,
Companion meet of languor-loving Nymph:
Be mine each Morn with eager Appetite
And Hunger undiffembled, to repair
To friendly Buttery; there on smoaking Cruft
And foaming ALE to banquet unrestrained,
Material Breakfaft! Thus in ancient Days
Our Ancestors robuft with liberal Cups
Ufher'd the Morn, unlike the fqueamish Sons
Of modern Times: Nor ever had the Might
Of Britons brave decay'd, had thus they fed,
With British ALE improving British worth.
With ALE irriguous, undifmay'd I hear
The frequent Dun afcend my lofty Dome
Importunate: Whether the plaintive Voice
Of Laundress fhrill awake my startled Ear;
Or Barber spruce with fupple Look intrude;
Or Taylor with obfequious Bow advance;
Or Groom invade me with defying Front
And ftern Demeanour, whofe emaciate Steeds
(Whene'er or Phoebus fhone with kindlier Beams,
Or luckier Chance the borrow'd Boots fupply'd)
Had panted oft beneath my goring Steel.
In vain they plead or threat: All-powerful ALE
Excufes new supplies, and each defcends
With joyless Pace, and debt-defpairing Looks:
E'en SPACEY with indignant Brow retires,
Fierceft of Duns! and conquer'd quits the Field.
Why did the Gods fuch various Bleffings pour
On hapless Mortals, from their grateful Hands
So foon the short-liv'd Bounty to recall?
Thus, while improvident of future Ill,
I quaff the luscious Tankard uncontroll❜d,
And thoughtless riot in unlicenc'd Blifs;
Sudden (dire Fate of all Things excellent!)
Th' unpitying Burfar's cross-affixing Hand
Blafts all my Joys, and ftops my glad Career.
Nor now the friendly Pot-house longer yields
A fure Retreat, when Night o'erfhades the Skies;
Nor SHEPPARD, barbarous Matron, longer gives
The wonted Truft, and WINTER ticks no more.
Thus ADAM, exil'd from the beauteous Scenes
Of Eden griev'd, no more in fragrant Bow'r
On Fruits divine to feast, fresh Shade and Vale
No more to vifit, or vine-mantled Grot;
But, all forlorn, the dreary Wilderness,
And unrejoicing Solitudes to trace:
Thus too the matchless bard, whose Lay resounds
The SPLENDID SHILLING's Praife, in nightly Gloom
Of lonesome Garret, pin'd for chearful ALE;
Whofe Steps in Verfe Miltonic I pursue,
Mean Follower: like him with honeft Love
Of ALE divine infpir'd, and Love of Song.
But long may bounteous Heav'n with watchful Care Avert his hapless Lot! Enough for me
That burning with cogenial Flame I dar'd
His guiding Steps at Distance to pursue,
And fing his favorite Theme in kindred Strains,
ODE to HORROR.
In the Allegoric, Descriptive, Alliterative, Epithetical, Fantaftic, Hyperbolical, and Diabolical STYLE of our modern ODE-WRIGHTS, and MONODY-MONGERS.
Ferreus ingruit Horror.
Goddess of the gloomy Scene,
Of shadowy Shapes thou black-brow'd Queen;
Thy Treffes dark with Ivy crown'd,
On yonder mould'ring Abby found;
Oft wont from Charnels damp and dim,
To call the sheeted Spectre grim,
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