BLAGRAVE, who during the Difpute,
Stood in a Corner, fnug and mute,
Surpriz'd, no Doubt, in lofty Verse,
To hear his Carriages converse,
With folemn Face, o'er Oxford Ale,
To me difclos'd this wonderous Tale:
I ftrait difpatch'd it to the Mufe,

Who brufh'd it up for Jackson's* News,
And, what has oft' been penn'd in prose,
Added this Maral at the Clofe.

"Things may be useful if obfcure; "The Pace that's flow is often fure: "When empty Pageantries we prize, "We raife but Duft to blind our Eyes. "The GOLDEN MEAN can best bestow

Safety for unfubftantial Show.

*Jackson's OXFORD JOURNAL; where this FABLE first appeared.

THE

SPLENDID SHILLING.

H

Sing, Heavenly Mufe,

Things unattempted yet, in Profe or Rhime,
A SHILLING, BREECHES, and CHIMERAS dire.'

APPY the Man, who void of Cares and Strife,
In Silken or in Leathern Purse, retains

A SPLENDID SHILLING: He nor hears with Pain
New Oysters cry'd, nor fighs for chearful Ale;
But with his friends, when nightly Mists arise,
To Jun'per's Magpye, or Town-hall *repairs:

Two noted Alehouses in Oxford, 1700.

Where,

Where mindful of the Nymph, whose wanton Eye
Transfix'd his Soul, and kindled amourous Flames,
CLOE OF PHILLIS; he each circling Glass
Wisheth her Health, and Joy, and equal Love.
Mean while, he fmokes, and laughs at merry Tale,
Or Pun ambiguous, or Conundrum quaint.
But I, whom griping Penury furrounds,
And Hunger, fure Attendant upon Want,
With fcanty Offals, and small acid Tiff,
(Wretched Repaft!) my meagre Corps fuftain:
Then folitary walk, or doze at home

In Garret vile, and with a warming Puff
Regale chill'd Fingers; or from Tube as black
As Winter-Chimney, or well-polished Jet,
Exhale Mundungus, ill-perfuming Scent:
Not blacker Tube, nor of a fhorter Size,
Smokes Cambro-Briton (vers'd in Pedigree,
Sprung from Cadwaladur and Arthur, Kings
Full famous in romantick Tale) when he
O'er many a craggy Hill and barren Cliff,
Upon a Cargo of fam❜d Ceftrian Cheese,
High over-shadowing, rides, with a Design
To vend his Wares, or at the Arvonian Mart,
Or Maridunum, or the antient Town

Yclep'd Brechinia, or where Vaga's Stream
Encircles Ariconium, fruitful Soil!

Whence flow nectareous Wines, that well may vie
With Maffic, Setin, or renown'd Falern.

Thus, while my joyless Minutes tedious flow,
With Looks demure, and filent Pace, a Dun,
Horrible Monster! hated by Gods and Men,
To my aërial Citadel afcends ;

With vocal Heel thrice thund'ring at my Gate,
With hideous Accent thrice he calls; I know
The Voice ill-boding, and the folemn Sound.
What fhou'd I do? or whither turn? Amaz'd,
Confounded, to the dark Recefs I fly

Of Woodhole; ftrait my briftling Hairs erect
Thro' fudden Fear; a chilly Sweat bedews
My fhud'ring limbs, and (wonderful to tell!)
My Tongue forgets her Faculty of Speech;
So horrible he feems! his faded Brow
Entrench'd with many a Frown, and conic Beard,
And spreading Band, admir'd by Modern Saints,
Difaftrous Acts forbode; in his Right Hand
Long Scrolls of Paper folemnly he waves,
With Characters, and Figures dire infcrib'd,
Grievous to mortal Eyes; (ye Gods avert

Such Plagues from righteous Men ;) behind him stalks
Another Moniter not unlike himself,

Sullen of Afpect, by the Vulgar call'd

A Catchpole

A Catchpole, whofe polluted Hands the Gods
With Force incredible, and magick Charms
Erft have endu'd; if he his ample Palm
Should haply on ill-fated Shoulder lay
Of Debtor, ftrait his Body, to the Touch
Obfequious, (as whilom Knights were wont)
To fome inchanted Castle is convey'd,
Where Gates impregnable, and coercive Chains
In Durance ftri&t detain him, till in Form
Of Money, PALLAS fets the Captive free.

Beware, ye Debtors, when ye walk, beware,
Be circumfpect; oft with infidious Ken
This Caitiff eyes your Steps aloof, and oft
Lies perdue in a Nook or gloomy Cave,
Prompt to inchant fome inadvertent Wretch
With his unhallowed Touch. So (Poets fing)
Grimalkin to domestick Vermin fworn
An everlasting Foe, with watchful Eye
Lies nightly brooding o'er a chinky Gap,
Protending her fell Claws, to thoughtless Mice
Sure Ruin. So her difembowell'd Webb
Arachne in a Hall, or Kitchen spreads,
Obvious to vagrant Flies: She secret stands
Within her woven Cell; the humming Prey,
Regardless of their Fate, rufh on the Toils