N° 195. SATURDAY, JULY 8, 1710.

Grecian Coffee-house, July 7.

THE learned world are very much offended at many of my ratiocinations, and have but a very mean opinion of me as a politician. The reason of this is, that some erroneously conceive a talent for politics to consist in the regard to man's own interest; but I am of quite another mind, and think the first and essential quality towards being a statesman is to have a public spirit. One of the gentlemen who are out of humour with me imputes my falling into a way, wherein I am so very awkward, to a barrenness of invention; and has the charity to lay new matter before me for the future. He is at the bottom my friend; but is at a loss to know whether I am a fool or a physician, and is pleased to expostulate with me with relation to the letter. He falls heavy upon licentiates, and seems to point more particularly at us who are not regularly of the faculty. But since he has been so civil to me, as to meddle only with those who are employed no further than about men's lives, and not reflected upon me as of the astrological sect, who concern ourselves about lives and fortunes also, I am not so much hurt as to stifle any part of his fond letter.

"Sir,

"I am afraid there is something in the suspicions of some people, that you begin to be short of matter for your Lucubrations. Though several of them now and then did appear somewhat dull and insipid to me, I was always charitably inclined to believe the fault lay in myself, and that I wanted the true key to decypher your mysteries; and remember your advertisement upon this account. But since

I have seen you fall into an unpardonable error, yea, with a relapse; I mean since I have seen you turn politician in the present unhappy dissensions, I have begun to stagger, and could not choose but lessen the great value I had for the Censor of our isle. How is it possible that a man, whom interest did naturally lead to a constant impartiality in these matters, and who hath wit enough to judge that his opinion was not like to many proselytes; how is it possible, I say, that a little passion, for I have still too good an opinion of you to think you were bribed by the staggering party, could blind you so far as to offend the very better half of the nation, and to lessen off so much the number of your friends? Mr. Morphew will not have cause to thank you, unless you give over, and endeavour to regain what you have lost. There are still a great many themes you have left untouched: such as the ill management of matters relating to law and physic; the setting down rules for knowing the quacks in both professions. What a large field is left in discovering the abuse of the college, who had a charter and privileges granted them to hinder the creeping in and prevailing of quacks and pretenders; and yet grant licences to barbers, and write letters of recommendation in the country towns, out of the reach of their practice, in favour of mere boys; valuing the health and lives of their countrymen no farther than they get money by them. You have said very little or nothing about the dispensation of justice in town and country, where clerks are counsellors to their

masters.

"But as I cannot expect that the Censor of Great Britain should publish a letter, wherein he is censured with too much reason himself; yet I hope you will be the better for it, and think upon the themes I have mentioned, which must certainly be of greater service to the world, yourself, and Mr.

Morphew, than to let us know whether you are a
Whig or a Tory. I am still your admirer and
servant,
CATO JUNIOR."

This gentleman and I differ from the words staggering and better part; but instead of answering to the particulars of this epistle, I shall only acquaint my correspondent, that I am at present forming my thoughts upon the foundation of Sir Scudamore's progress in Spenser, which has led me from all other amusements to consider the state of Love in this island; and from the corruptions in the government of that to deduce the chief evils of life. In the mean time that I am thus employed, I have given positive orders to Don Saltero of Chelsea, the toothdrawer, and Doctor Thomas Smith, the corn-cutter of King-street, Westminster, who have the modesty to confine their pretensions to manual operations, to bring me in, with all convenient speed, complete lists of all who are but of equal learning with themselves, and yet administer physic beyond the feet and gums. These advices I shall reserve for my future leisure; but have now taken a resolution to dedicate the remaining part of this instant July to the service of the fair sex, and have almost finished a scheme for settling the whole remainder of that sex who are unmarried, and above the age of twenty-five.

In order to this good and public service, I shall consider the passion of Love in its full extent, as it is attended both with joys and inquietudes; and lay down, for the conduct of my Lovers, such rules as shall banish the cares, and heighten the pleasures, which flow from that amiable spring of life and happiness. There is no less than an absolute necessity, that some provision be made to take off the dead stock of women in city, town, or country. Let there happen but the least disorder in the streets, and in

an instant you see the inequality of the numbers of males and females. Besides that the feminine crowds on such occasions is more numerous in the open way, you may observe them also to the very garrets huddled together, four at least to the casement. Add to this, that by an exact calculation of all that have come to town by stage-coach or waggon for this twelvemonth past, three times in four the treated persons have been males. This over-stock of beauty, for which there are so few bidders, calls for an immediate supply of lovers and husbands; and I am the studious knight-errant, who have suffered long nocturnal contemplations to find out methods for the relief of all British females, who at present seem to be devoted to involuntary virginity. The scheme, upon which I design to act, I have communicated to none but a beauteous young lady, who has for sometime left the town, in the following letter:

TO AMAMDA IN KENT.

"Madam,

I send with this, my discourse of ways and means for encouraging marriage, and repeopling the island. You will soon observe that, according to these rules, the mean considerations, which make beauty and merit cease to be the objects of love and courtship, will be fully exploded. I have unanswerably proved, that jointures and settlements are the bane of happiness; and not only so, but the ruin even of their fortunes who enter into them. I beg of you therefore to come to town upon the receipt of this, where, I promise you, you shall have as many lovers as toasters; for there needed nothing but to make men's interests fall in with their inclinations to render you the most courted of your sex. As many as love you will now be willing to marry you.—

Hasten then, and be the honourable mistress of mankind. Cassander, and many others, stand in The gate of good desert to receive you.

"I am, Madam,

"Your most obedient, most humble servant,

ISAAC BICKERSTAFF."

N° 196. TUESDAY, JULY 11, 1710.

Dulcis inexperto cultura potentis amici,

Expertus metuit.

HOR. 1 Ep. xviii. 86.

Untry'd how sweet a court attendance !
When try'd how dreadful the dependance!

From my own Apartment, July 10.

FRANCIS.

THE intended course of my studies was altered this evening by a visit from an old acquaintance, who complained to me, mentioning one upon whom he had long depended, that he found his labour and perseverance in his patron's service and interests wholly ineffectual; and he thought now, after his best years were spent in a professed adherence to him and his fortunes, he should in the end be forced to break with him, and give over all further expectations from him. He sighed, and ended his discourse, by saying, "You, Mr. Censor, some time ago, gave us your thoughts of the behaviour of great men to their creditors. This sort of demand upon them, for what they invite men to expect, is a debt of honour; which according to custom they ought to be most careful of paying, and would be a worthy subject for a Lucubration."

Of all men living, I think, I am the most proper to treat of this matter; because, in the character and