'Live like yourself,' was soon my lady's word;
And, lo! two puddings smoked upon the board.
Asleep and naked as an Indian lay,
An honest factor stole a gem away:
He pledged it to the knight; the knight had wit;
So kept the diamond, and the rogue was bit.
Some scruple rose, but thus he eased his thought:
'I'll now give sixpence where I gave a groat;
Where once I went to church, I'll now go twice:
And am so clear too of all other vice!'
The tempter saw his time: the work he plied;
Stocks and subscriptions pour on every side; 370
Till all the demon makes his full descent
In one abundant shower of cent. per cent.:
Sinks deep within him, and possesses whole;
Then dubs director, and secures his soul.
Behold Sir Balaam, now a man of spirit,
Ascribes his gettings to his parts and merit ;
What late he call'd a blessing, now was wit;
And God's good providence, a lucky hit.
Things change their titles as our manners turn :
His counting-house employ'd the Sunday morn;
Seldom at church, ('twas such a busy life!)
But duly sent his family and wife :
There, so the devil ordain'd, one Christmas-tide
My good old lady catch'd a cold, and died.
A nymph of quality admires our knight :
He marries, bows at court, and grows polite;
Leaves the dull cits, and joins, to please the
fair,
The well-bred cuckolds in St. James's air:
First for his son a gay commission buys,
Who drinks, whores, fights, and in a duel dies:
His daughter flaunts a viscount's tawdry wife;
She bears a coronet and *** for life :
In Britain's senate he a seat obtains,
And one more pensioner St. Stephen gains.
My lady falls to play; so bad her chance,
He must repair it; takes a bribe from France:
The House impeach him; Coningsby harangues;
The Court forsake him, and Sir Balaam hangs.
Wife, son, and daughter, Satan! are thy own;
His wealth, yet dearer, forfeit to the crown: 400
The devil and the king divide the prize;
And sad Sir Balaam curses God, and dies.
TO RICHARD BOYLE, EARL OF BURLINGTON.*
The vanity of expense in people of wealth and quality. The abuse of the word taste, v. 13. That the first principle and foundation in this, as in everything else, is good sense, v. 40. The chief proof of it is to follow nature, even in works of luxury and elegance. Instanced in architecture and gardening, where all must be adapted to the genius and use of the place; and the beauties not forced into it, but resulting from it, v. 50. How men are disappointed in their most expensive undertakings, for want of this true foundation, without which nothing can please long, if at all; and the best examples and rules will be but perverted into something burdensome and ridiculous, v. 65, &c. to 92. A description of the false taste of magnificence; the first grand error of which is to imagine that greatness consists in the size and dimension, instead of the proportion and harmony of the whole, v. 97, and the second, either in joining together parts incoherent, or too minutely resembling, or in the repetition of the same too frequently, v. 105, &c. A word or two of false taste in books, in music, in painting, even in preaching and prayer, and lastly in entertainments, v. 133, &c. Yet Providence is justified in giving wealth to be squandered in this manner, since it is dispersed to the poor and laborious part of mankind, v. 169, [recurring to what is laid down in the first book, Ep. II., and in the Epistle preceding this, v. 159, &c.] What are the proper objects of magnificence, and a proper field for the expense of great men, v. 177, &c. And, finally, the great and public works which become a prince, v. 191, to the end.
"TIS strange, the miser should his cares employ To gain those riches he can ne'er enjoy :
A great promoter of the arts in England. He displayed his taste in the erection of Burlington House, -his town residence,-and his beautiful mansion at Chiswick.
Is it less strange, the prodigal should waste
His wealth, to purchase what he ne'er can taste?
Not for himself he sees, or hears, or eats:
Artists must choose his pictures, music, meats:
He buys for Topham* drawings and designs;
For Pembroke,+ statues, dirty gods, and coins;
Rare monkish manuscripts for Hearne alone,
And books for Mead, § and butterflies for Sloane. §
Think we all these are for himself? no more 11
Than his fine wife, alas! or finer whore.
For what has Virro painted, built, and planted?
Only to show how many tastes he wanted.
What brought Sir Visto's ill-got wealth to waste?
Some demon whisper'd, 'Visto! have a taste.'
Heaven visits with a taste the wealthy fool,
And needs no rod but Ripley || with a rule.
See, sportive fate, to punish awkward pride,
Bids Bubo build, and sends him such a guide :
A standing sermon, at each year's expense,
That never coxcomb reach'd magnificence!
You show us, Rome was glorious, not profuse; And pompous buildings once were things of use. Yet shall, my lord! your just, your noble rules, Fill half the land with imitating fools; Who random drawings from your sheets shall take, And of one beauty many blunders make; Load some vain church with old theatric state; Turn arcs of triumph to a garden gate;
* A gentleman famous for his collection of drawings. Thomas, eighth Earl of Pembroke. He formed the beautiful collection of statues, medals, and coins, &c. at Wilton House.
The celebrated antiquarian.
§ Two eminent physicians: the first had an excellent library, the other the finest collection in Europe of natural curiosities; both were men of great learning and humanity.
He began life as a carpenter, and rose to the position of an architect.
Lord Melcombe, better known as Bubb Doddington. ** "The Earl of Burlington was then publishing the designs of Inigo Jones, and the antiquities of Rome by Palladio."
Reverse your ornaments, and hang them all
On some patch'd dog-hole eked with ends of wall;
Then clap four slices of pilaster on't,
That, laced with bits of rustic, makes a front;
Shall call the winds through long arcades to roar,
Proud to catch cold at a Venetian door;
Conscious they act a true Palladian part;
And, if they starve, they starve by rules of art.
Oft have you hinted to your brother peer
A certain truth, which many buy too dear:
Something there is more needful than expense,
And something previous e'en to taste;-'tis sense :
Good sense, which only is the gift of Heaven,
And, though no science, fairly worth the seven :
A light, which in yourself you must perceive;
Jones* and Le Nôtret have it not to give.
To build, to plant, whatever you intend,
To rear the column, or the arch to bend;
To swell the terrace, or to sink the grot ;-
In all, let Nature never be forgot:
But treat the goddess like a modest fair;
Nor over-dress, nor leave her wholly bare:
Let not each beauty everywhere be spied,
Where half the skill is decently to hide.
He gains all points, who pleasingly confounds,
Surprises, varies, and conceals the bounds.
Consult the genius of the place in all;
That tells the waters, or to rise or fall;
Or helps the ambitious hill the heavens to scale;
Or scoops in circling theatres the vale;
Calls in the country, catches opening glades,
Joins willing woods, and varies shades from shades;
Now breaks, or now directs, the intending lines
Paints as you plant, and as you work designs.
Still follow sense, of every art the soul;
Parts answering parts shall slide into a whole,
* Inigo Jones, the celebrated architect.
The architect of the groves and grottos of Versailles. He planted St. James's and Greenwich parks."
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