ons of the Spring are now abated. The Nightingale gives over her Love-labour'd Song, as Milton phrafes it, the Bloffoms are fallen, and the Beds of Flowers fwept away by the Scythe of the Mow er. I shall now allow my Fair Readers to return to their Romances and Chocolate, provided they make use of them with Moderation, 'till about the Middle of the Month, when the Sun fhall have made fome Progrefs in the Crab. Nothing is more dangerous, than too much Confidence and Security. The Trojans, who ftood upon their Guard all the while the Grecians lay before their City, when they fancied the Siege was raifed, and the Danger paft, were the very next Night burnt in their Beds: I muft alfo obferve, that as in fome Climates there is a perpetual Spring, fo in fome Female Conftitutions there is a perpetual May: These are a Kind of Valetudinarians in Chastity, whom I would continue in a conftant Diet. I cannot think these wholly out of Danger, 'till they have looked upon the other Sex at leaft Five Years through a Pair of Spectacles. WILL. HONEYCOMB has often affured me, that 'tis much eafier to steal one of this Species, when she is pass'd her grand Climacterick, than to carry off an icy Girl on this fide Five and Twenty; and that a Rake of his Acquaintance, who had in vain endeavoured to gain the Affections of a young Lady of Fifteen, had at laft made his Fortune by running away with her Grandmother. BUT as I do not defign this Speculation for the Ever-greens of the Sex, I fhall again apply my felf to those who would willingly liften to the Dictates of Reason and Virtue, and can now hear me in cold Blood. If there are any who have forfeited their Innocence, they must now confider themselves under that melancholy View, in which Chamont regards his Sifter, in those beau tiful Lines. Long fhe flourish'd, Grew Sweet to Senfe, and lovely to the Eye; 'Till at the laft a cruel Spoiler came, Cropt this fair Rofe, and rifled all its Sweetness, Then caft it like a loathfome Weed away. ON the contrary, the who has obferved the. timely Cautions I gave her, and lived up to the Rules of Modefty, will now Flourish like a Rofe in June, with all her Virgin Blushes and Sweetnefs about her: I muft, however, defire thefe laft to confider, how fhameful it would be for a General, who has made a Successful Campaign, to be furprized in his Winter-Quarters: It would be no lefs difhonourable for a Lady to lofe, in any other Month of the Year, what the has been at the Pains to preserve in May. THERE is no Charm in the Female Sex, that can fupply the Place of Virtue. Without Innocence, Beauty is unlovely, and Quality contemptible, Good-breeding degenerates into Wantonnefs, and Wit into Impudence. It is obferved, that all the Virtues are represented by both Painters and Statuaries under Female Shapes; but if any one of them has a more particular Title to that Sex, it is Modefty. I fhall leave it to the Divines to guard them against the oppofite Vice, as they may be overpowered by Temptations; It is fufficient for me to have warned them against it, as they may be led aftray by Instinct. I defire this Paper may be read with more than ordinary Attention, at all Tea-Tables within the Cities of London and Westminster. Χ Wednesday, ́N° 396. Wednesday, June 4. Barbara, Celarent, Darii, Ferio, Baralipton. AVING a great deal of Bufinefs upon my H Hands at prefent, I fhall beg the Reader's Leave to prefent him with a Letter that I received about half a Year ago from a Gentleman of Cambridge, who ftiles himself Peter de Quir. I have kept it by me fome Months, and though I did not know at firft what to make of it, upon my reading it over very frequently I have at laft difcovered feveral Conceits in it: I would not therefore have my Reader difcouraged if he does not take them at the first Perufal. To Mr. SPECTATOR, SIR, From St. John's College Cambridge. TH HE Monopoly of Punns in this Univerfi'ty has been an immemorial Privilege of the • Johnians; and we can't help refenting the late • Invafion of our ancient Right as to that Particular, by a little Pretender to Clenching in a neighbouring College, who in an Application to you by way of Letter, a while ago, ftiled himself Philobrune. Dear Sir, as you are by Character a profeft Well-wisher to Speculation, 'you will excufe a Remark which this Gentle• man's Paffion for the Brunette has fuggefted to . a Brother Theorift; 'tis an Offer towards a me'chanical Account of his Lapfe to Punning, for, ' he belongs to a Set of Mortals, who value them-, 'felves upon an uncommon Mastery in the more • humane and polite Part of Letters. A Conqueft by one of this Species of Females gives a very 'odd odd Turn to the Intellectuals of the captivated Perfon, and very different from that way of 'thinking which a Triumph from the Eyes of an• other more emphatically of the fair Sex, does generally occafion. It fills the Imagination with ⚫ an Affemblage of fuch Ideas and Pictures as are hardly any thing but Shade, fuch as Night, the 'Devil, &. These Portraitures very near overpower the Light of the Understanding, almost benight the Faculties, and give that melancholy Tincture to the most fanguine Complexion, C which this Gentleman calls an Inclination to be in a Brown-study, and is ufually attended with worfe Confequences in cafe of a Repulfe. During this Twilight of Intellects, the Patient is S extremely apt, as Love is the most witty Paffion in Nature, to offer at fome pert Sallies now and then, by way of Flourish, upon the amiable Enchantrefs, and unfortunately stumbles ( upon that Mongrel mifcreated (to fpeak in Miltonic) kind of Wit, vulgarly termed, the Punn. It would not be much amifs to confult Dr. " TW (who is certainly avery able Projector, and whofe Syftem of Divinity and fpiritual Mechanicks obtains very much among the better Part of our Under-Graduates) whether a general Inter-marriage, enjoyned by Parliament, between this Sifter-hood of the OliveBeauties, and the Fraternity of the People called Quakers, would not be a very serviceable Expedient, and abate that Overflow of Light which fhines within them so powerfully, that it dazzles their Eyes, and dances them into a thoufand Vagaries of Error and Enthufiafm. These Reflections may impart fome Light towards a Discovery of the Origin of Punning among us, and the Foundation of its prevailing fo long in this famous Body. 'Tis notorious from the In• ftance 'ftance under Confideration, that it must be owing chiefly to the use of brown Juggs, muddy Belch, and the Fumes of a certain memorable Place of Rendezvous with us at Meals, known by the Name of Staincoat Hole: For the Atmo'fphere of the Kitchen, like the Tail of a Comet, predominates leaft about the Fire, but refides 'behind, and fills the fragrant Receptacle above' mentioned. Befides, 'tis farther obfervable, that 'the delicate Spirits among us, who declare against these naufeous Proceedings, fip Tea, and put up for Critic and Amour, profefs likewise an equal Abhorrency for Punning, the ancient innocent Diverfion of this Society. After all, Sir, tho' it may appear fomething abfurd, that • 1 feem to approach you with the Air of an Advocate for Punning, (you who have juftified < your Cenfures of the Practice in a fet Differtation upon that Subject;) yet, I'm confident, you'll think it abundantly atton'd for by obferving, that this humbler Exercise may be as in• ftrumental in diverting us from any innovating < Schemes and Hypothefis in Wit, as dwelling upon honeft Orthodox Logic would be in fecuring us from Herefie in Religion. Had Mr. W -n's Refearches been confin'd within the • Bounds of Ramus or Crackanthorp, that learned News-monger might have acquiefc'd in what the Holy Oracles pronounce upon the Deluge like other Chriftians; and had the furprifing Mr. Ly been content with the Employment of refining upon Shakespear's Points and Quibbles, (for which he must be allowed to have a • fuperlative Genius) and now and then penning a Catch or a Ditty, inftead of inditing Odes, and Sonnets, the Gentlemen of the Bon Gouft in the Pit would never have been put to all that Grimace in damning the Frippery of State, the Po |