leaft from negligence, which will creep in upon the kindest and most delicate minds, when they converse without the mutual awe of equal condition. I found the spirit and vigour of liberty every moment finking in me, and a fervile fear of difpleafing, ftealing by degrees upon all my behaviour, till no word, or look, or action, was my own. As the folicitude to please increased, the power of pleafing grew lefs, and I was always clouded with diffidence where it was moft my intereft and wish to fhine. My patrons, confidering me as belonging to the community, and, therefore, not the charge of any particular perfon, made no fcruple of neglecting any opportunity of promoting me, which every one thought more properly the business of another. An account of my expectations and disappointments, and the fucceeding viciffitudes of my life, I fhall give you in my following letter, which will be, I hope, of use to fhew how ill he forms his fchemes, who expects happiness without freedom. I am, &c. X NUMB. 27. TUESDAY, June 19, 1750. Pauperiem metuens potiore metallis Libertate caret. So he, who poverty with horror views, (Freedom for mines of wealth too cheaply fold) And feel a haughty mafter's galling weight. Mr. RAMBLER, A HOR. FRANCIS. S it is natural for every man to think himself of importance, your knowledge of the world will incline you to forgive me, if I imagine your curiosity so much excited by the former part of my narration, as to make you defire that I fhould proceed without any unneceffary arts of connection. I fhall, therefore, not keep you longer in fuch fufpenfe, as perhaps my performance may not compenfate. In the gay company with which I was now united, I found those allurements and delights, which the friendship of young men always affords; there was that openness which naturally produced confidence, that affability which, in fome measure, softened dependence, and that ardour of profeffion which incited hope. When our hearts were dilated with merriment, promises were poured out with unlimited profufion, and life and fortune were but a fcanty facrifice to friendship; but when the hour came, at which any 4 any effort was to be made, I had generally the vexation to find that my interest weighed nothing against the flightest amusement, and that every petty avocation was found a fufficient plea for continuing me in uncertainty and want. Their kindness was indeed fincere; when they promised, they had no intention to deceive; but the fame juvenile warmth which kindled their benevolence, gave force in the fame proportion to every other paffion, and I was forgotten as foon as any new pleasure feized on their attention. Vagario told me one evening, that all my perplexities fhould be foon at an end, and desired me, from that inftant, to throw upon him all care of my fortune, for a poft of confiderable value was that day become vacant, and he knew his intereft fufficient to procure it in the morning. He defired me to call on him early, that he might be dreffed foon enough to wait on the minifter before any other application should be made. I came as he appointed, with all the flame of gratitude, and was told by his fervant, that having found at his lodgings, when he came home, an acquaintance who was going to travel, he had been perfuaded to accompany him to Dover, and that they had taken poft-horses two hours before day. I was once very near to preferment, by the kindnefs of Charinus, who, at my request, went to beg a place, which he thought me likely to fill with great reputation, and in which I fhould have many opportunities of promoting his intereft in return; and he pleafed himself with imagining the mutual benefits that we fhould confer, and the advances that that we should make by our united strength. Away therefore he went, equally warm with friendship and ambition, and left me to prepare acknowledgements against his return. At length he came back, and told me that he had met in his way a party going to breakfast in the country, that the ladies importuned him too much to be refused, and that having paffed the morning with them, he was come back to dress himself for a ball, to which he was invited for the evening. I have fuffered feveral difappointments from tailors and periwig-makers, who by neglecting to perform their work withheld my patrons from court; and once failed of an establishment for life by the delay of a fervant, fent to a neighbouring fhop to replenifh a fnuff-box. At laft I thought my folicitude at an end, for an office fell into the gift of Hippodamus's father, who being then in the country, could not very speedily fill it, and whofe fondness would not have suffered him to refufe his fon a lefs reasonable requeft. Hippodamus therefore fet forward with great expedition, and I expected every hour an account of his fuccefs. A long time I waited without any intelligence, but at laft received a letter from Newmarket, by which I was informed that the races were begun, and I knew the vehemence of his paffions too well to imagine that he could refufe himfelf his favourite amufement. You will not wonder that I was at laft weary of the patronage of young men, efpecially as I found them not generally to promife much greater fidelity VOL. IV. N as as they advanced in life; for I observed that what they gained in steadiness they loft in benevolence, and grew colder to my intereft as they became more diligent to promote their own. I was convinced that their liberality was only profuseness, that as chance directed, they were equally generous to vice and virtue, that they were warm but because they were thoughtless, and counted the fupport of a friend only amongst other gratifications of paffion. My refolution was now to ingratiate myself with men whose reputation was established, whose high ftations enabled them to prefer me, and whose age exempted them from fudden changes of inclination. I was confidered as a man of parts, and therefore easily found admiffion to the table of Hilarius, the celebrated orator, renowned equally for the extent of his knowledge, the elegance of his diction, and the acuteness of his wit. Hilarius received me with an appearance of great fatisfaction, produced to me all his friends, and directed to me that part of his difcourfe in which he most endeavoured to display his imagination. I had now learned my own interest enough to fupply him opportunities for fmart remarks and gay fallies, which I never failed to echo and applaud. Thus I was gaining every hour on his affections, till unfortunately, when the affembly was more fplendid than ufual, his defire of admiration prompted him to turn his raillery upon me. I bore it for fome time with great fubmiffion, and fuccefs encouraged him to redouble his attacks; at laft my vanity prevailed over my prudence, I retorted his irony with fuch fpirit, that Hilarius, unaccuf tomed |