12 Jan. 21EITY REMARKS. Secrets Worth Knowing. IT would be difficult to discover what analogy the title of "Secrets Worth Knowing," bears to this comedy. If it was intended as a bait for curiosity, it was ingenious enough; for mankind are so prone to busy themselves with the affairs of their neighbours, that the promise of so tempting a revelation would be sure to attract crowds to the theatre. That those whose only motive was curiosity had their desire gratified, we may fairly answer in the negative; Mr. Morton has revealed no secret particularly worth knowing, but he has ingeniously thrown out a decoy-duck, to allure the idle and the curious to hear a moral lesson from the stage; not a tragedy inixed with most pleasant mirth, nor a farce devoted to licentiousness and buffoonery-but a drama, where merriment and sorrow take their urns, and almost constrain us to laugh with one side of the face, and to cry with the other. When the love of money has once laid fast hold of the mind, there is no act, however base, that will stop its career. Like the object of Richard's ambition, which was placed at such a height as to require the utmost reaching of his soul to attain it, it pursues one undeviating course, and, when the fancied summit is gained, there is something beyond that leads it still higher. If it be true that "Vice is a monster of so frightful mien, As, to be hated, needs but to be seen," We recommend all who have the sin of avarice-who are halting between right and wrong, for the gratification of that execrable passion, to come and see this play, and they will behold a miser and his minion drawn in the truest colours. The character of Undermine is not in the least overcharged-his acts are of every-day occurrence. He exerts his influence over a wretch as sordid as himself, and grasps the inheritance of the rightful heir. And, when his design is baffled by the compunction of the testator, who revokes the gift by a subsequent will, he artfully suppresses that fatal instrument, to add another heap to his ill-gotten store. In this plan he is assisted by his worthy compeer, one Nicholas Rue-an anatomy, old, trembling, and cadaverous : "Hell in his heart, and Tyburn in his face," Who, like his master, lives in continual fear of death and the devil. "Look here upon this picture, and on this"— April-on whose reverend head winter has dropped its snows but whose mental and bodily faculties are the prototype of his name→ green, healthy, and vigorous. Would we account for this, let us consider his "conscience ever gay." His clean hands, and his cheerful countenance; his upright heart and figure may well keep each other company. How exactly does this good old man illustrate the beautiful lines of Pope "Reason's whole pleasure, all the joys of sense, Lie in three words-health, peace, and competence; And peace, Oh, Virtue! peace is all thy own!" An example of the corrupting influence of dissipation is Plethora, a once healthy importation from the country, poisoned and emaciated by town follies-the companion and victim of jockey lords and titled blacklegs, whose purse and constitution have alike given way, as in duty bound, to those of his superiors. Yet is Phethora a phiIosopher-he has fairly counted the cost of his excesses, and has made up his mind to a short .ife and a merry one. We have never yet had the good fortune to meet with a universal genius-an admirable Crichton, who was excellent in every thing. The only character that at all approximates to this universality, is our dramatic friend, Caleb Quotem. Putty and lead-magnets and marble slabs-polar stars and corner cupboards, are no trifling acquisitions in the way of learning. Rostrum, though a superb auctioneer, is nevertheless a confined genius. He shines no where but in his own sphere-he handles no subject with half the dexterity that he does his own hammer-he preaches no where but in his own pulpit. When peeping over the timber, and descanting upon the beauty of an Apollo in bronze, or a Venus in plaster, he porrows the quality of one to describe the other, and becomes most impu dently eloquent; but let a Venus in reality appear before him, he is extinguished, snuffed out, abashed, and crest-fallen "E'en such a man, So dull, so dead in look, Drew Priam's curtain in the dead of night, And would have told him half his Troy was burn'd." Yo prophet is honoured in his own country-no man is a hero to is valet de chambre: but exery auctioneer is king of his own pulhit, where, like Chanticleer on his particuler eminence, he is entitled po crow. His tongue, like his lots, is always a-going-but when he is gone, so is his occupation. Rostrum has, however, some points that deserve high praise: his generous and manly feeling towards Egerton, at their first interview, and his justice in restoring to him that property which had been hoarded for his use. The sentimental portion of this comedy is in better taste than Mr. Morton's serious efforts generally are. There is no German mystification or bombast about it. The perplexities that arise out of the concealment of Greville's marriage, are well contrived, and the denouement is brought about in a very pleasing and satisfactory manner. We rejoice to see poetical justice assigned to Under mine, and the most galling part of it executed by the very wretch whom he had seduced by the promise of a bribe. As in a criminal seuse the finisher of the law is a degraded outcast, cast-off and abandoned by society-so, in a moral, it is right that villany should be duped by its own miserable accomplice. Lewis, Quick, Munden, and Fawcett, were the principal actors that first introduced this comedy to the town. The grave has closed over the matchless Lewis-our-facetious friend and neighbour, Quick, though alive and merry, is theatrically dead-Munden is also in retirement-but Fawcett continues on the stage, where, for the sake of comedy, we hope he will long remain. Still, while Rostrum is played by Elliston, and Plethora by Harley, we cannot want entertainment. The days of Old Covent Garden have well nigh spoiled us to see every character ably sustained was then considered no phenomenon. We are now thankful if an entire play be not altogether burlesqued-we laud the gods if one decent actor deign to appear during the five acts-but if two, the spectator"Blesses his stars, and thinks it luxury." DG. STAGE DIRECTIONS. The Conductors of this work print no Plays but those which they have seen acted. The Stage Directions are given from their own personal observations, during the most recent performances. EXITS and ENTRANCES. R. means Right; L. Left; D. F. Door in Flat; R. D. Right Door; L. D. Left Door; S. E. Second Entrance; U. E. Upper Entrance; M. D. Middle Door. RELATIVE POSITIONS R. means Right; L. Left; C Centre; R. C. Right of Centre; L. C. Left of Centre. R. RC. C. LC. L The Reader is supposed to be on the Stage, facing the Audience. Costume. GREVILLE.-A fashionable full-suit of black. EGERTON.-Military coat-blue pantaloons-boots-hat. ROSTRUM.-Light green coat-white waistcoat-tight buff pan. taloons-shoes-hat. UNDERMINE.-Old-fashioned rich velvet embroidered suitruffles-shoes and buckles, &c. APRIL.-Brown coat-red waistcoat-leather breeches-top-boots -clerical hat. NICHOLAS.-A mean gray cloth suit-white worsted stockingsshoes and buckles-gray hair-hat. PLETHORA.-Green Jerry coat-buff waistcoat-white breeches -shoes-top-boots-fashionable hat. VALET, BUTLER, COOK, and COACHMAN.-In suits of black, with black shoulder-knots-black worsted stockings and shoes. MRS. GREVILLE.-Full suit of fashionable black-black bonnet. ROSE.-First dress: Green pelisse-hat and feathers.-Second dress: White muslin gown and broad sash. SALLY. Black gown and petticoat-mob-cap-straw gipsy-hat, with black ribands-white handkerchief-white muslin apron-black mitts, Cast of the Characters, as Performed at the Theatres Royal, London. |