Page images
PDF
EPUB
[merged small][merged small][ocr errors]

Ah, no! instruct me other joys to prize, With other beauties charm iny partial eyes! Full in my view set all the bright abode, And make my soul quit Abelard for God. Ah, think at least thy flock deserves thy care,

Plants of thy hand, and children of thy prayer.

130

From the false world in early youth they fled,

By thee to mountains, wilds, and deserts led. You raised these hallow'd walls; the desert smil'd,

And Paradise was open'd in the wild.
No weeping orphan saw his father's stores
Our shrines irradiate or emblaze the floors;
No silver saints, by dying misers giv'n,
Here bribed the rage of ill-requited Heav'n;
But such plain roofs as piety could raise,
And only vocal with the Maker's praise. 140
In these lone walls (their day's eternal
bound),

These moss-grown domes with spiry turrets

[blocks in formation]
[blocks in formation]

in vain,

Confess'd within the slave of Love and man. Assist me, Heav'n! but whence arose that prayer?

Sprung it from piety or from despair? 180
Ev'n here, where frozen Chastity retires,
Love finds an altar for forbidden fires.

I ought to grieve, but cannot what I ought;
I mourn the lover, not lament the fault;
I view my crime, but kindle at the view,
Repent old pleasures, and solicit new;
Now turn'd to Heav'n, I weep my past
offence,

Now think of thee, and curse my innocence.
Of all affliction taught a lover yet,

'T is sure the hardest science to forget! 190 How shall I lose the sin, yet keep the

sense,

And love th' offender, yet detest th' offence ?

How the dear object from the crime re

move,

Or how distinguish Penitence from Love? Unequal task! a passion to resign,

For hearts so touch'd, so pierced, so lost as mine:

Ere such a soul regains its peaceful state, How often must it love, how often hate!

How often hope, despair, resent, regret, Conceal, disdain. do all things but for

get!

200

But let Heav'n seize it, all at once 't is fired; Not touch'd, but rapt; not waken'd, but inspired!

O come! O teach me Nature to subdue, Renounce my love, my life, myself — and You:

Fill my fond heart with God alone, for he Alone can rival, can succeed to thee.

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot; Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, Each prayer accepted, and each wish resign'd;

.210

Labour and rest, that equal periods keep; Obedient slumbers that can wake and weep; Desires composed, affections ever ev'n; Tears that delight, and sighs that waft to Heav'n.

Grace shines around her with serenest beams,

And whisp'ring angels prompt her golden dreams.

For her th' unfading rose of Eden blooms, And wings of seraphs shed divine perfumes;

[blocks in formation]

To dream once more I close my willing

eyes;

240

Ye soft illusions, dear deceits, arise!
Alas, no more! methinks we wand'ring go
Thro' dreary wastes, and weep each other's
woe,

Where round some mould'ring tower pale ivy creeps,

And low-brow'd rocks hang nodding o'er the deeps.

Sudden you mount, you beckon from the skies;

Clouds interpose, waves roar, and winds arise.

I shriek, start up, the same sad prospect find,

And wake to all the griefs I left behind.

For thee the Fates, severely kind, ordain A cool suspense from pleasure and from pain;

250

Thy life a long dead calm of fix'd repose; No pulse that riots, and no blood that glows.

Still as the sea, ere winds were taught to blow,

Or moving spirit bade the waters flow;
Soft as the slumbers of a saint forgiv'n,
And mild as opening gleams of promised

Heav'n.

Come, Abelard! for what hast thou to dread?

The torch of Venus burns not for the dead. Nature stands check'd; Religion disap

proves;

260

Ev'n thou art cold-yet Eloisa loves. Ah, hopeless, lasting flames; like those that burn

To light the dead, and warm th' unfruitful urn!

What scenes appear where'er I turn my view;

The dear ideas, where I fly, pursue;
Rise in the grove, before the altar rise,
Stain all my soul, and wanton in my eyes.
I waste the matin lamp in sighs for thee,
Thy image steals between my God and me:
Thy voice I seem in every hymn to hear,
With every bead I drop too soft a tear. 270
When from the censer clouds of fragrance
roll,

And swelling organs lift the rising soul,
One thought of thee puts all the pomp to

flight,

Priests, tapers, temples, swim before my sight:

[blocks in formation]

Ah, come not, write not, think not once of me,

Nor share one pang of all I felt for thee. Thy oaths I quit, thy memory resign; Forget, renounce me, hate whate'er was mine.

Fair eyes, and tempting looks (which yet I view),

Long lov'd, ador'd ideas, all adieu !

O Grace serene! O Virtue heav'nly fair!
Divine Oblivion of low-thoughted care!
Fresh blooming Hope, gay daughter of the
sky!

And Faith, our early immortality!
Enter each mild, each amicable guest;
Receive, and wrap me in eternal rest!

300

See in her cell sad Eloisa spread, Propt on some tomb, a neighbour of the dead.

In each low wind methinks a spirit calls, And more than echoes talk along the walls. Here, as I watch'd the dying lamps around, From yonder shrine I heard a hollow

sound:

'Come, sister, come! (it said, or seem'd to say)

Thy place is here, sad sister, come away;

[blocks in formation]

Love's victim then, tho' now a sainted maid:

But all is calm in this eternal sleep;

Here grief forgets to groan, and love to weep;

Ev'n superstition loses ev'ry fear:

For God, not inan, absolves our frailties here.'

I come, I come! prepare your roseate bowers,

Celestial palms, and ever-blooming flowers. Thither, where sinners may have rest, I go, Where flames refin'd in breasts seraphic glow;

320

Thou, Abelard! the last sad office pay, And smooth my passage to the realms of day:

See my lips tremble, and my eyeballs roll, Suck my last breath, and catch my flying soul!

Ah, no― in sacred vestments mayst thou stand,

The hallow'd taper trembling in thy hand,
Present the cross before my lifted eye,
Teach me at once, and learn of me, to die.
Ah then, thy once lov'd Eloisa see!
It will be then no crime to gaze on me. 330
See from my cheek the transient roses fly!
See the last sparkle languish in my eye!
Till ev'ry motion, pulse, and breath be o'er,
And ev❜n my Abelard be lov'd no more.
O Death, all-eloquent! you only prove
What dust we doat on, when 't is man we
love.

Then too, when Fate shall thy fair frame
destroy

(That cause of all my guilt, and all my joy),

In trance ecstatic may thy pangs be drown'd,

Bright clouds descend, and angels watch

thee round;

340

From opening skies may streaming glories shine,

And saints embrace thee with a love like mine.

May one kind grave unite each hapless

name,

And graft my love immortal on thy fame! Then, ages hence, when all my woes are o'er,

When this rebellious heart shall beat no more;

[merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][ocr errors][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small]
[merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][ocr errors][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small]
« PreviousContinue »